Gratitude is, well, it's like the background music of my life. It's true, some days I'm more grateful than others, some days it can be hard to find gratitude in the midst of feelings of stress, or loneliness, or fatigue, or pain. Part of maturing is knowing that despite the everyday, regular, run-of-the-mill ups and downs of life, I have so much to be grateful for. I was born into a loving and close family; I've had wonderful and great friends my entire life; I live in a beautiful part of the country; I make enough of a living; I'm healthy; my family is healthy; I've never had to go a day without food unless I wanted to; I'm sober; I have two great housemates that live for two things: love & food. What it boils down to is that I'm sincerely happy to be alive. Now, there were a lot of times, especially during my days of heavy drinking, that not only was I not happy to be alive but I really thought I'd rather be dead. And that's what I still have trouble with being ashamed of -- that I failed to recognize life for the gift that it is for so long. That I was so damned stupid. So I make living amends around that by being grateful for life today, despite all the mistakes and screw-ups, the memories that make me cringe and the fact that it's all so very temporary, beautiful and heart-breaking. Or maybe because it's all so very temporary, beautiful and heartbreaking. I seem to have embraced the mystery without even knowing I was doing it. Recognizing that makes my life sacred. P. S. I tried to get that damn picture to look right about 10 times. Oh well.
Hi. I'm Angela. Eclectic Recovery is my blog and I welcome you to its pages.
ER began as an exploration into my ongoing issues with addiction/mental illness and the solutions I employed and experiences I went through attempting to navigate a course to health. Mostly they have been unsuccessful and ridiculous. Such, I find, is much of life.
My own problems with addiction have led me to catch onto the fact that virtually the entire world is addicted and that a forced detox is imminent. Peak oil, climate change & continued destruction, imperialism, corruption, global financial and food insecurity - these things will not go away just because we don't look.
My recent intense self-education into these issues still feels way behind the curve. At the same time, I realize that the majority of folks still can't stomach the topics and are in deep denial of our dilemma. But becoming informed and taking action, accepting responsbility and stepping up to the plate are going to, at the very least, make it much easier when you release that last breath. At best, you could get to be part of a revolution for change that will move us from an oiil-based, patriarchally defined way of life towards a reverence based society wherein all life is honored and we become, again, just another part of that life.
There's a lot of information out there and I believe I've gotten pretty good at separating the wheat from the chaff. I am called to provide anyone who happens to visit ER the good information I'm finding and attempt to engage them in action.
ER is no longer just a personal blog. It's political, too.