Sunday, November 11, 2007

What We Resist

Persists. I woke up this morning with a cloud of sadness and loss hanging over me. So I considered my options. I could try and ignore it which was tempting. I can be pretty good at that sometimes. Or I could work my way out of it - pretty good at that one, too. But I've learned that this axiom is true for me, what I resist, persists. So I dove into it, cried, felt the sadness, felt the loss and then I do what works really well for me - I connected. I talked to several friends and one of my sisters on the phone. I called to invite Roberta for a walk. I did a little cleaning and a lot of reading and now, as dark falls on my little sacred spot, I am okay. Not great, just okay and that's good enough for right now. I've experienced these "emotional hangovers" a lot in my life and I'm pretty sure they're not going to kill me. Slowly and painstakingly I am learning to embrace what comes my way and try not to label it good or bad, but just let it be. Some days, though, the process of becoming more conscious is just a bitch.

Looking forward to checking on everyone else's Sacred Sunday posts. Even though mine didn't especially feel that way, I know it has been a Sacred Sunday.


thailandchani said...

You honored your feelings instead of running away from them. That indeed is a Sacred Sunday. :)

bella said...

This is so brave.
I am slowly, ever so slowly learning what you have spoken of here. To let myself move into the feelings, even when sad or hard or painful. To feel them fully, to trust the process. To let them be and then work their way through and come out the other side.
Because, yes, when I run away or push back or down or out, they do persist. And even more, they fester.
So, I hear you and I think this is sacred work, a sacred life.

Diva Carla said...

Dear Angela,
Thank you for your comment over at my house. I will tell you again, your presence offered through this blog is a great blessing to me. I have been checking in all day hoping to find your sacred Sunday post. Good work weeping then feeling for the next better feeling. And connecting. I did that too today, and yesterday, reaching out to my people.

Sherri said...

My Sunday also felt less sacred than it was. I didn't do much thanking today, but I did connect with some friends. I plan to make up my Sacred Sunday tomorrow.

Journey Through Life said...

Wow, you dealt so well with these emotions. I so admire the way you handled it.
This is definitely a Sacred Sunday because you lived your day in a wise, sacred way.

Julie said...

I get it too and call it the "Ick." Sometimes it just helps to get moving, or other times I can sit on my kitchen floor with a picture or something and just cry my eyes out. But you are right, I've been through enough of them too that I already know they aren't going to kill me - good to remember.

Olivia said...

It sounds sacred to me. Diving into the feelings instead of running away from them is profound. I haven't really learned to do that yet, so I admire those who have (like you). Blessings and gratitude, O

Kikipotamus said...

That is an absolute truth...what we resist persists. Good for you for going into the feelings.

breedlove said...

Angela, just read the many comments left concerning your
decision to drink or follow another path.

For myself I would think about using, long before I actually did. But once I decided to use, in most cases I would. I certainly did allow anyone the opportunity to
give an opinion.

None of your readers, friends, or love ones can change the decision for you if that is what you have decided to do.

If I choose to drink or use again, than I need to be ready for any consequences that will come from this. I only say this because that is my experience in Recovery as well as when I have been "Out of Recovery".

I love you and be good to yourself.

Angela said...

Thanks to everyone. And Happy Birthday to ME!

Janet said...

it's good that you're able to reach out...I have such a hard time with that!