Happy Horseshit, The Addictive Society and Substance

I have an anonymous commentor who isn't impressed with Eclectic Recovery. I initially responded with anger and struck back because I honestly don't understand people who feel the need to strike out at others from their own hurt places. I usually turn that hostility inward. Neither way is very effective. Anonymous indicated that I am being selfish and have no interest in helping others and nothing could be further from the truth. I'm reminded of a video I saw by Father Martin in treatment in which he stated that the worst pain can come from having your intentions misinterpreted. Father Martin was right about that.

Anonymous called my last post "happy horseshit" and I won't disagree with him/her on that score. The more happy horseshit I develop in my life the more joyful and fulfilling my recovery. Anonymous also indicated that I wasn't writing anything here of substance and with that I have to take exception. Perhaps he/she doesn't understand how to find their way around a blog so here are links to some of my more informative posts on recovery from addiction: Post Acute Withdrawal, dealing with pain, practicing radical accpetance, negative emotional states. cooking in recovery, Medicine Wheel recovery, reviews on recovery books here, here and here, nutritional supplements, gratitude, and H.A.L.T. Just to name a few. Also, if you're interested, there's plenty in the blog archives (which you can reach by scrolling through the date entries in the left-hand column) about what hasn't worked. I've been honest about my failures and successes here and I've had quite a few slip-ups in my attempts at sobriety. Also in the left-hand column are links to other websites I utilize and find helpful - some directly related to recovery from addiction, some not.

I'm reading a book now, "Willpower's Not Enough" by Arnold Washton, Ph.D., and Donna Boundy, M.S.W. which is a very practical, informative and easy-to-read missive about dealing with addictions. There's a chapter titled, "The Addictive Society" and here's an excerpt:

It is now widely known that children growing up with chemically-dependent parents are at high risk for developing addictions themselves. But what we are just starting to realize is that growing up in an addictive society affects us all too - in many of the same ways.

In fact, it may be all but impossible to grow up in our present culture and not acquire at least some vulnerability to addiction. That's because the addictive personality traits (an emphasis on image, cravings for power and control, denial, dishonesty, just to name a few) are increasingly reflected in society's values and trends. And it's a self-perpetuating process. Certain trends create the conditions in which addiction thrives, and growing numbers of addictive people reinforce these trends.

Our society, in a sense, is becoming a large dysfunctional family. And just as children in dysfunctional families become prone to addiction as they try to adapt to their troubled family, so too are we becoming more addiction prone as we try to adapt to the larger dysfunctional system in which we live.

In other words, it's become the ocean we swim in. We don't even notice how bombarded we are by sick, abusive and violent messages; we don't stop long enough to hear our own heartbeat and we certainly don't listen out for anyone else's.

I have long been frustrated about how society uses addicts and alcoholics as scapegoats for their own shadow aspects. There are many shadow tendencies that are not as overt as chemical depdency but which are just as destructive for society and the individuals that make up society. For instance: sexual addiction, gambling, corporate greed, animal and earth cruelty, image glorification, misuse of food and many, many others. Anonymous' behavior is a small example of the problem: visit a blog, read one post, decide it's crap and attack the person writing it. My little blog may not be doing much to heal society's ills, or even my own, but it's a start to being the change I'd like to see in the world.

So thanks, Anonymous, for making me think, take another look at what I'm doing here and giving me something to write about today.

Summer Solstice

The summer solstice is this weekend and it's also my father's birthday. Happy Birthday, Dad!

My medicine wheel journey will move to a new direction, south, on the solstice. I made some notes a while back about what I thought I would focus on during the south time, but damned if I know where they are or even what they were! It doesn't matter. I'm not running this show anyway. I'll spend some time in p & m (prayer and meditation) this week and it will come to me. I absolutely love following the seasons with my recovery.

A friend of mine is having a "burning" ceremony on Saturday and I can't think of a better way to celebrate being back in Polson and letting go of all the negativity I've endured in the past weeks. We have such a beautiful community there and I return with fresh eyes, grateful for all that it offers. And longing for a bit of peace - a respite, a healing space, love, nurturance. It's all there. It's all within me. It's all within you.

Your world is a place of the bending of the Light. But the light must be there or you have no world at all. ~ from Emmanuel's Book

New Moon in Aries

Once a month the moon goes through her dark phase, also called the New Moon. This occurs when the moon and sun are conjunct on the ecliptic. When they are so joined, there is no light from which the moon can reflect and so she appears dark in the sky. As the two bodies slowly begin to pull away from each other, she once again begins to reflect the sun's light, in a sliver of a crescent at first, gradually, each night building light on her surface until she rides full and round in the night sky. Today the moon is conjunct the sun in the traditional astrological sign of Aries, heralder of spring, new beginnings and awakening life. In the northern hemisphere of course.

This morning there is a skiff of snow on the valley floor, the sky is clear and blue and the Swan Range in the distance across the lake is proud and stunning. It's cold, but the sun is beginning to carry warmth here and the days will continue to lengthen until they last 18 hours. Dawn and evening will stretch on and on like the taffy of the gods, creating more of those in-between times like twilight and dusk and slow morning; more time for the human soul to integrate the lessons of the earth mother, more time to celebrate the life we have here, more time to heed the call.

It's an auspicious time to begin a medicine wheel journey. Because the medicine wheel is a cosomos-viewer created by indigenous peoples in different parts of the world, there are different meanings for the directions, different animal totems, different lessons to be learned, different tools with which to manifest spirit. Which means of course that it's up to the individual to intuitively decide where to begin, what processes to use and how long to spend with each direction.

I've decided that my initial journey around the wheel will begin now, in the spring, in the east. I will journey once around the wheel in the coming year, seasonally and with the rhythms of the moon. The element of the east is air where the power of the mind comes to bear on the creative forces alive in the universe and begins to work in harmony with the elemental muses. I will use my time in the east, which will last until the summer solstice in June, to begin to heal my body from its various abuses by practicing extreme self-care and to prepare for the remainder of the journey.

I will post more about how I'm going about this as I go about it, but for now I've decided to continue my exercise program and hopefully notch it up a bit as well as adding weekly saunas to the routine. My dear friend and employer, Roberta, has a FAR infrared sauna that is available to me almost any time. I've used the sauna, but not in any disciplined way and not with much intent behind it. That's going to change and I intend to sweat. A lot. Sweat is purifying and I want to assist my body with the healing that good old-fashioned sweat can provide. I will rest, as long and as often as I need to. When I can afford extras, I will do them: massage and yoga come immediately to mind.

This seems like a good time to say that I'm up for any and all suggestions about how to implement better self-care. I know nutrition will play a huge part for me.

Another thing I'm going to do is use the new and full moons to write out intentions each month and follow-up with how I'm doing on them. I've done this before, but once again not in a disciplined or meaningful way. My intentions for this cycle are:

1. Stay sober
2. Sweat 5-6 times a week whether through exercise or sauna.
3. Continue with my outside treatment protocol which includes group and individual
therapy, medication management (for depression and anxiety which continue to
show up), relapse prevention, AA attendance and LSR e-mail list participation.

The Medicine Wheel

The Medicine Wheel is an ancient healing/living modality created by Native American and other indigenous peoples throughout the world. It's a way of moving through life which is closely infromed by our connection to the earth; earth as mother, nurturer, healer. Earth as home and hearth. Earth now as victim who requires our assistance and cooperation to help her return to balance. I believe recovery is dependent on this connection and on our willingness to begin to treat the Earth, and ourselves, with respect.

Our physical bodies are part of earth, part of this dense matter, but our spirit - through our consciousness - is not, and exploring that frontier is also part of the Medicine Wheel. Freedom of consciousness is encouraged through intention, ritual and celebration. Acquiring even a small amount of freedom of consciousness requires some level of purification and so purification is also part of the Medicine Wheel.

The Medicine Wheel is a circular and organic process wherein each direction offers specific lessons that bring about balance, joy in living, respect for self and others, understanding and growth. Many of the processes I've previously explored and continue to explore: archetypes, meditation, ritual, mindfulness, self-examination, tarot, astrology and writing have their place within the wheel. The Medicine Wheel is a framework with tremendous room for individual expression and the freedom to customize what is chosen to place within that framework.

Of course, the most important thing about the Medicine Wheel for me is that I'm attracted to it. One of the principles of AA is that it is based on attraction rather than promotion, but in my experience AA was, and continues to be, promoted as the best if not the only way to recover from addiction. It wasn't intended to be that way, but the treatment industry (I think especially here in the west, but I'm not sure about that) basically grabbed onto the 12 steps and for years made it the only available option. When other programs began to spring up, they were mostly secular in nature, touting the rational road to recovery and these programs work well for many people. But the spiritual aspect of AA is not what bothers me at all. I want my recovery to inform my spirituality and vice versa so the secular programs left me feeling like something was missing as well.

I'm excited about exploring this framework here at Eclectic Recovery.