Cross Quarter Days - Imbolc

This is my new year. At some point over the past few years I realized that this cross-quarter day, the mid-way point in Aquarius, feels like the new year to me. Somewhere along the way I have veered from the traditional holidays because the old ones feel right to me. I can feel the earth's belly starting to warm beneath the snow and ice; I sense the new growth that will be bursting forth in a few short months; I watch each day become a little longer, a little lighter.

The usual celebration would be to light candles, which I can't do in my current living situation, and to feast in honor or Brigid, goddess of smithcraft and poetry, keeper of the sacred fire and caller to modern women to remember their power and use it for a world sorely in need. Tonight I will write of patterns of thought and action that I am letting go, ones that haven't served me or the world for years and years. I continue to meditate on where she wants me to work, what she wants me to do and I put my requests to the stars and try to be patient.

My thoughts and dreams are of permaculture, greening, priestess pathwork, counseling, designing, sobriety and recovery, community, sustainability, writing, ritual. How they can all fit together. How will she weave this web? It will be intricate and beautiful and I will do my best. It never occurs to me that I'm in no position to dream. I'm longing for a new tribe while continuing to honor the old tribe. More connection; common growth. Patience, Angela - that is my mantra.

Happy New Year.

New Moon in Taurus Intentions

As part of my medicine wheel journey, I am setting intentions at each new moon and following up on them at the full moon. The New Moon in Taurus was exact last night, which is why I give myself three days on either side of the new and full moons to fulfill my contract. I like being aware of the moon's phase and sign so I'm pretty good at keeping close to when the aspects are almost exact. The aspect of the new moon is a conjunction of the moon and sun, when they occupy the same space on the eclicptic from earth's view. The full moon is when they are opposite each other (180 degrees apart) on the eclipitic, when that old full moon magic comes alive.

One of the websites I find invaluable in tracking the moon's phases and signs, and to read great articles on the new and full moons each month is Mooncircles. Here is an excerpt from an article by Jean Linson Hall on last night's new moon:

The Moon, the Mother of all, is exalted in Taurus: it is here in the Fixed Earth sign that her birthing, nourishing and sustaining activity can work to greatest effect. Taurus describes our primary experience of the material world through the senses. Think of the way a baby discovers its own body as separate from that of the mother and learns what brings pleasure and what brings discomfort or pain. A child who, in this phase of development, is physically nourished, affirmed, comforted and soothed will learn self-care, self-affirmation, and self-soothing - essential skills for a healthy and fulfilled life. These Taurean experiences provide the basis for a stable, embodied sense of self and a confidence in the reliability of one's perceptions of the world. As the Sun and Moon meet in this sign each year, we can renew or repair our connection to the senses, our joy in the body, our sense of proportion and our trust in the physical world. Venus teaches not only the proper appreciation and care of the body but also the soulfulness of stuff and the spirituality of everyday existence. Proper attention to her rituals helps assure that our big projects will serve the Earth rather than exploit and harm it.

Perhaps you already have your own Taurean rituals: gardening, painting, singing, writing poetry, hanging out laundry, baking bread. Even more fundamental is the care and adornment of one's own body. If you feel tired and stressed, it would not be impious to organize your New Moon meditation around a restorative bath!

From this foundation of love, imagine the things you hope to create in the coming year. Commit yourself to doing your small but significant part in the renewal of the world. Ask the Earth for support and the heavens for continued inspiration. Picture the first steps you will take. At the end of your meditation, do one thing - make a sketch, a schedule, a phone call — to launch your project into tangible existence.

Tonight, all the moving, and packing, and painting, and stress is stopping. My intentions for this new moon are:

1) Maintain the self-care routines I've begun in the past month; i.e., exercise, nutrition, downtime, etc. beginning with a new moon bath meditation/ritual tonight.

2) Focus on getting to know my new job and doing it well.

3) Continue LSR Safe, AA meeting attendance and sign up with Flathead County CD.

I've posted a vision board before. Here is one I made while in the hospital:

And here is one I made Wednesday evening:

I love doing vision boards and will have to do a post on them soon. I've decided to make a vision board for each of the four directions on the medicine wheel. The one above is East, which is where I am now through Summer Solstice.

Wishing you all a safe and peaceful dark of the moon.

The Medicine Wheel

The Medicine Wheel is an ancient healing/living modality created by Native American and other indigenous peoples throughout the world. It's a way of moving through life which is closely infromed by our connection to the earth; earth as mother, nurturer, healer. Earth as home and hearth. Earth now as victim who requires our assistance and cooperation to help her return to balance. I believe recovery is dependent on this connection and on our willingness to begin to treat the Earth, and ourselves, with respect.

Our physical bodies are part of earth, part of this dense matter, but our spirit - through our consciousness - is not, and exploring that frontier is also part of the Medicine Wheel. Freedom of consciousness is encouraged through intention, ritual and celebration. Acquiring even a small amount of freedom of consciousness requires some level of purification and so purification is also part of the Medicine Wheel.

The Medicine Wheel is a circular and organic process wherein each direction offers specific lessons that bring about balance, joy in living, respect for self and others, understanding and growth. Many of the processes I've previously explored and continue to explore: archetypes, meditation, ritual, mindfulness, self-examination, tarot, astrology and writing have their place within the wheel. The Medicine Wheel is a framework with tremendous room for individual expression and the freedom to customize what is chosen to place within that framework.

Of course, the most important thing about the Medicine Wheel for me is that I'm attracted to it. One of the principles of AA is that it is based on attraction rather than promotion, but in my experience AA was, and continues to be, promoted as the best if not the only way to recover from addiction. It wasn't intended to be that way, but the treatment industry (I think especially here in the west, but I'm not sure about that) basically grabbed onto the 12 steps and for years made it the only available option. When other programs began to spring up, they were mostly secular in nature, touting the rational road to recovery and these programs work well for many people. But the spiritual aspect of AA is not what bothers me at all. I want my recovery to inform my spirituality and vice versa so the secular programs left me feeling like something was missing as well.

I'm excited about exploring this framework here at Eclectic Recovery.

The Art of Living

As I continue through the process of re-examining the past as it relates to the problems I've had with addiction, I am also revisiting those things that have previously proven helpful to me but that I've gotten away from for whatever reason. Things like meditation, yoga, mindfulness, prayer and ritual.

I attended a party, an Obama-rama actually, given by my fabulous friend, Cyndi, a couple of weeks ago. There was a beautiful couple there that did African drumming and dance and their positivity and energy was awe-inspiring. You know how it's just obvious when you run across people that are living their lives to the fullest and spreading their light everywhere they go? Much like my friend Cyndi herself, and a lot of my blogging friends I might add.

Well, I subsequently received an e-mail from Cyndi about a course that the woman is offering right here in Polson called The Art of Living. Now normally this is not something I would be able to afford right now, but she's offering it at a ridiculously low price and I'm so excited that I'll be able to participate Feb. 20-24! Sometimes the universe offers the perfect gift at the perfect time and this feels like one of those.

Venus Ritual

I love using ritual as part of my recovery program. Ritual is a way of accessing the subconscious mind and joining personal intent with whatever universal force we believe in. We can think of this force in any way that suits us: as simply the energy of the world, as a Higher Power personal to us, as a pagan deity, or as Jung termed it - “the collective unconscious.” It’s our choice.

I came across the ritual I’m about to describe in an astrology book by Caroline Casey. “Making the Gods Work for You,” is a playfully intelligent book about the archetypes described by astrology and how they manifest here on planet earth. This ritual was originally written as a way of summoning love, but I’ve used it primarily for letting go of something I no longer wish to entertain in my life. Sometimes it’s been a bad habit, a serious addiction, a person, an idea or a belief. The physical and mental activity of performing ritual is a profound way to signal that we’re serious about what we’re doing. And it’s a very fun way to do a very serious thing.

Venus is the goddess of love, but she’s also the goddess of beauty, wealth, money and everything that adds that special sense of sweetness to our lives. Finding Venus in our birth chart can be an eye-opener to the people and things that really get our juices flowing, that make us want to dance and eat and make love ‘til the sun comes up. In the earth-based religions and astrology, Venus’ day is Friday – so it’s good to do this ritual on a Friday.

Take a round piece of bread, such as a roll, make a hole in it, and put a nickel inside (the number five is sacred to Venus.) On top of the nickel, place a little piece of folded paper on which you have written what it is you’re releasing to the universe; or if you’re using it to attract love, write those qualities that you seek in your beloved. Put a little honey on top of that, then place a short candle on top of the honey, whatever color is your favorite, and light it. While the candle is burning, honor Venus: play beautiful music, take a long bubble bath, eat some healthy and gorgeous food – with Dessert!, get a massage, paint your toenails – be outrageous and hedonistic. When the candle is completely burned down so that only melted wax remains on top of the bread, take it to sweet water - a river, pond, lake or stream. Throw the now completely biodegradable bread-candle into the water and in your own words, state your intention. Relax and release. Now, keep an eye out for that goddess. She’ll show up in a few days. Have fun.