Red-Tail Reverie

Well, I have to say after my last post I was a little afraid to see the comments. My anger still gets the best of me sometimes. A blog is a great place to let that steam off without hurting anyone else. We're all going to need to find ways to let off the steam without injuring our surrounding environment, including the people in it. Like I should have to mention people, but have you noticed they seem to be the least valuable commodity in the spotlight these days? Right next to the great mother herself, our home, our paved-over, dried up, crippled, wailing, moaning Earth.

It was critter central at Blacktail yesterday. The sun came out for the first time in a week and the afternoon warmed to a gentle air-bath. The chipmunks and chickadees were feasting on the seed I put out; the robins were fat with their red puffed-out chests and then we got a very special visitor. Brent and I were sitting on the deck taking a few minutes to enjoy the sun before he got back to framing in the entrance and I got back to filing for bankruptcy. (FREQUENT breaks are required for that particular process!) Anyway, one of the largest red-tail hawks I've ever seen came flying our way (which they do often enough on the mountain), but this one really put on a show. He was playing on some thermals that were apparently right over our heads and he swooped, dipped, dropped and soared for at least 10 minutes. He was so close the patterns in his underwing were fully visible and lit from behind by the afternoon sun. He was gorgeous. We were blessed.

This afternoon it's expected to reach 70 degrees and we're going to take the kayaks out on their inaugural voyage. Tomorrow, too. One of my goals for next week is to get some of my pictures on a network I can access at the library so I can put photos up. I finally end up on a little piece of Montana heaven and haven't put any pictures on my blog! Crazy.

I'm doing a trememdous amount of reading on collapse, energy descent, peak oil, climate change, permaculture, responses and solutions. I'm not just fascinated; I'm compelled. Of course, some people will insist on calling it obsessed, but again I say: so what? Also next week I'll put up a list of what I'm reading and fill you in on ways I'm figuring out to compromise on what I 'd like to do (have a garden, chickens, root cellar, rain-catcher, compost, and a goat) and still make a difference. Of course, the campaign continues with Brent. I thought I had him talked into two chickens but he talked himself back out of it just as quickly. But we're doing great. This morning he told me I'm the perfect woman to be here with him. A lot of times I don't like the ways in which Brent is right. But I agree with him on this one.

House Notes

Well, it was a gorgeous day today in Butte, America. Sunny and bright with light wisps of cloud, and warm at 32 degrees farenheit. After morning yoga I decided to drive 20 miles to the Fairmont Hot Springs and had a delicious soak in the springs with the Anaconda/Pintler Range as a backdrop. Can't beat it for a Sunday.

Yesterday I drove one of my housemates to do some errands around town. He's a handsome black man with 2-foot dreds and no legs. He lost them jumping a train. His wheelchair fits in the backseat of my little Toyota after the wheels come off and go in the trunk. He treated me to lunch as a thank you. I believe it's only the 2nd meal I've eaten out here, the first being the day I was released from treatment.

There are a dozen men, one family of five and five women in the house right now. Several have had health problems that caused them to lose everything and are now homeless because of it. Most of the people here have never been without a home prior to now. They are some of the strongest people I have ever met.

The cowboy is coming to visit next weekend for Valentine's Day, which is odd enough without my thinking he might be going to pop the question. Not necessarily the marriage question, which neither of us much believe in, but the time to move in question. He's closing in on being finished with the new house - the kitchen cabinets go in next week and as soon as the ground thaws the water will be connected and then everything is a go. I applied for a job in the area which would be great as that's where I'm planning to attend school. I love him a lot. I want to be with him. I wonder if I'm ready. I think I might be. But I'm not sure. Are you ever??

I'm practicing my religion more, well, religiously. Yoga is part of that as is tarot, ritual, meditation, journaling, dreamwork and earthwork. I won't name my religion but you could call me the Good Witch of the West if you wanted.

Take care, all. Much love.

Carbon Sequestration aka Good Dirt

I read something recently that seems very important and I wanted to re-print it here. It's from Delicious Living magazine which is offered free of charge at my local health food store, Mission Mountain Natural Foods. The article is entitled, In Defense of Organics, and was written by Radha Marcum. The section of the article that interested me most is about something called "carbon sequestration." Here it is:

Food miles are on everyone's minds these days. On average, food travels 1,300 to 2,000 miles from farm to plate. But choosing local alone can't solve our fossil fuel and CO2 woes, say researchers. Only 11 precent of a food's carbon footprint is tied to transport. The remainder is almost entirely associated with growing, processing and packaging the food.

Organic farming take those nonrenewable petroleum products, such as synthetic fertilizers and pesticides, out of the equation. Instead, it relies on cover crops and organic fertilizers to boost productivity, along with nonpetroleum-based pest and weed management tools. And newly published research from the Rodale Institute points to an even bigger potential environmental benefit of organic farming: carbon sequestration.

Looking at nearly three decades of research, Jeff Moyer, farm director of the Rodale Institute and chairman of the National Organic Standards Board, and other scientists, such as Cornell's David Pimentel, Ph.D, have found that healthy, microbe-rich soil bolstered by organic farming methods has the ability to remove CO2 (the most prevalent greenhouse gas) from the air - and lots of it. "By increasing and relplenishing biodiversity in the soil we can sequester carbon at a greater rate than we originally thought possible," says Moyer. An acre of organic cropland can take approximately 7,000 pounds of carbon dioxide out of the atmosphere each year. Multiply that by the 434 million acres of U.S. cropland and it's the equivalent to eliminating emissions from 217 million cars (nearly 88 percent of US cars today).

How does dirt become a carbon sequestering tool? By using cover crops, organic compost, and chemical-free pest and weed control practices, organic farming actively builds biodiversity in the soil. In fact, if you took the microscopic fungi living in a teaspoon of soil from organically managed farmland and placed them end to end, the resulting chain would stretch hundreds of yards, says Moyer, many times more than those in conventionally grown soil. The fungi and other living organisms abundant in organic soils naturally pull carbon from the air and store it in the soil, where it is retained for decades. Scientists have found that, at worst, some Midwestern soils have gone from 20 percent carbon to between 1 and 2 percent carbon in the last 60 years alone.

So you mean we have a tool to sequester carbon and improve the soil and the food we eat and bring people together to get it done? All those sweet little microscopic fungi will take care of all that carbon? Incredible. So simple. So obvious. I'm working my little patch of ground; how about you?

If you think this is important, pass it around. And don't forget to link Delicious Living and Eclectic Recovery.

Looking In

We are reflections of the divine life force. While science may not yet be able to "prove" this fact, more and more evidence is available to the seeker that it is so. As reflections of this creative source the place to look for it, the place to be close to it, is within our own selves, the universe that is us. This requires stillness, reflection on our reflection and assistance.

I have been taught, as all of us westerners have, to look outside ourselves for this source, this authority. Once, it seemed I had found this source through AA - I remained sober, my "outer" life improved and I had the approval of all who knew me. But it was an illusion as all outside sources are illusion.

I've been through my own personal hell in the past fifteen years. When the outside source I had come to rely on failed me, I turned my back on seeking at all for some time and when I began again I was very lost. I attempted again and again to return to that outside source and when the connection was not there I turned back to alcohol for consolation. I became caught in a web of approval-seeking, guilt, confusion and making sure I did everything on the outside to look like I was changing on the inside. That particular course of action led me to a psychiatric ward last February, thinking of suicide and being dogged by anxiety and depression every waking moment.

It's a paradox that some of the outside sources we seek may actually be able to help us to the spiritual authority inside us - which is why AA works well for some, why religion can assist, and why family and commuity support is so vital. The mental health and addiction counseling is providing me that assistance now, as well as the support of my family and friends, my on-line sobriety group and all the unseen assistance I feel coming my way. But none of these are my authority, they are only helping me observe my own connection to the spiritual authority that resides within me, and within all of us.

The "anxiety and depression" I felt are being transmuted into kundalini awakening, the awakening of the divine energy that lies in the base of the spine. This energy is begging my attention, my focus and my commitment. Doctors will call it neurosis, menopause, delusion, but I'm not asking them anymore. I've begun practicing kundalini yoga to help me engage this energy. This energy is nothing less than the energy of creation. It lives in all of us and desires our engagement above all else. The body is a gateway, the senses portals, the natural world a spiritual testing ground. My use and abuse of alcohol and drugs was a misguided and unconscious attempt to engage this energy. I'm beginning to use the body, the senses and the natural world as my tools for cooperation.

I didn't know if I would be able to write clearly about this. It's a very difficult thing to put into words; it's a very difficult thing to experience - life. Just think about that word. LIFE. This is it.

Will you, like the doctors, think it's delusion, mild psychosis or plain old insanity? Honestly, I could care less. But I've decided to keep writing about it as best I can, as openly and as clearly as I can because this can be my tool of worship. And life is deserving of our praise. Now, I've got to go practice some "breath of fire."

Take care.

Rain and Mist and Magick

Tiptoeing around the house since 4:30 am so as not to wake Roberta. It is rainy and windy and Montana has obviously not been informed that summer is officially here. I am mostly settled in to my new space and I have to admit that for a homeless person, I ain't doing so badly.

As lucky and wealthy as I am I see it everywhere: the injustice. The same old scenario that we humans have been acting out for centuries - I must have more than you. I will have more than you. You are less than me. It makes me weary; I romanticize alcohol because when I drink I don't have to think about it anymore. But alcohol has become too painful an escape, as painful for those who love me as it is for me. As I remain sober, I must face these injustices. I must travel through the murky water to find the sparkling pool of clarity and then the courage to act on it. I must not bury my head in the bottle, or the boyfriend, or the chocolate cake . Too easy.

For those unable to face themselves, hard times are coming. Well, actually, they're here, aren't they? And in the meantime I play catch up as fast as I can because I don't know how I know, or why I know, or why it took me so long to know - but I know I have a role to play and more than anything in the world I want to play it consciously. I follow the good energy and I know it won't lead me astray.

I have an appointment for a 2nd opinion on my knee this morning and I look forward to the drive along the west shore of Flathead Lake in the rain and mist and magick. Have you taken time to look at the earth lately? To feel her trees and splash in her water and thank her for the life she provides for us? I believe she's had quite enough of our torture. Be sure and show her some real love today.