Thursday, January 7, 2010

Where is Home?

I completed 43 days of treatment and I am sober. They don't play around at MCDC and it was a difficult experience, one I'm still processing. Many times I disagreed with their tactics and I almost left twice feeling that I wasn't getting the treatment I needed. But it is slowly dawning on me that in that very short period of time I became a much stronger person. I found my center and they helped me find it. Special thanks to my team: Peggy, Richard, Sharon and Vicky. These people are making a difference in the world in a field that is fraught with failure, disappointment and heartache. And they keep doing it, day after day. They continue to learn about the disease, to try new things to help those of us who have it and to love each and every one of their patients. It's a tough love sometimes; it's a good love all the time.

The love and support I received from my blogging community was incredible. Many of you wrote and sent beautiful packages that encouraged me to continue when I felt like quitting. It was pure magic to receive these gifts of the heart. The only way I can thank any of you enough is to stay sober and begin to make my own difference in the world, in honor of each and every one of you: my friends.

I've decided to return to Butte to a halfway house. I will stay there at least three months. It's bittersweet - leaving this little town I've called home for 7 years. I love this place. I believe the lake and the mountains kept me alive, not to mention the incredible friends and teachers I've had here: Claudia, Julie, Roberta, Ben, Marsha, Teresa, Heather. People who kept believing in me despite evidence that maybe I wasn't going to make it after all.

Of course, my family has been with me through this whole painful and rocky trip. No kidding. I have the best family in the entire world.

I'm pretty sure I won't stay in Butte any longer than I have to in order to re-structure my life and financial situation - 6-9 months I figure. I don't know where I'll land. Where will home be? Will I come back to Polson? Opt for Missoula? Will I be called back to Georgia for a time? It doesn't distress me at all. Because I finally know where home is. It's in my heart and it goes with me everywhere.


Sherri said...

Angela, I'm so happy for you,successfully completing the program. It seems like you've been gone forever, but I'm sure it seems like even longer to you than it does to me. Here's to your health and to the integration of everything you've learned on your journey.

Anybeth said...

welcome back darlin'.

The Second Road said...

I like Missoula so much. Yet, it seemed like a lot of people did drugs there. I am glad your family is offering you the needed support.

Stay Strong.

mike said...

Thanks for your post.
Awesome on the recovery time. Truly wonderful. Good to see you not dwelling on the future and freaking out! That was always a tough one for me when I first got sober

vicariousrising said...

Upstate NY has been a great recovery place for me.

So glad to hear you are getting stronger. If you are ever in my neck of the woods, give me a hollar. :). You've got a friend here.

Sarah Laurenson said...

Saw your blog link at Clarity of Night and thought I'd pop over. Have only read this post, but I may still wander through your archives.

I've been sober for 26 years now. Hope you continue to stay sober and find the blessings I've received along the way.

AngelP said...

Hi Angela,

I am so glad you are home and off to more recovery. I've been sober right along with you - January 4 was 2 months for me.

I hope they allow computers in sober living, because we have much to catch up with now!

I have come here most everyday to see if you are home yet - even when I know you weren't.

Get settled in and stay in touch.


Mary LA said...

Welcome back and go gently.

Ove & a big hug

Mary LA

miss*R said...

welcome back sweet Angela... you have been in my prayers and my heart often xo

Anonymous said...

Keep posting stuff like this i really like it

Blake said...

Angela! Hey you! How are you? I would have rather emailed you but I did not know of any other way then to do this.

I just came across the book mark you gave me with this blog site though you have been in my thoughts and prayers ever since treatment.

I hope you are doing well, seems like it! Let me know! I am currently living in Missoula and doing VERY well! Sober 10 months at the end of this month. Write me! I sure hope you receive this . . . my email address is I know life can get chaotic but if you just let me know you are okay I would truly appreciate it! Be well.