I wanted to do something special with my parents while they were here so I went web surfing looking for activities for us. I considered snowshoeing at Glacier National Park, or visiting a hot springs I hadn't been to yet. But then I discovered something that I absolutely couldn't resist. Wolfkeep. The Wolfkeep Wildlife Sanctuary is dedicated to the preservation of the wolf and the study of wolf behavior. Their mission is to educate the public about the wolf and its place in the ecosystem.
Now, the wolf is a subject that carries a lot of emotion in these parts. The environmentalists love them, the ranchers hate them and even though there are only a little over 300 wolves in Montana today, the delisting debate continues. The gray wolf was extirpated (that means to remove or destroy something completely) from the western United States during the 1900s, primarily due to loss of habitat and conflicts with people. Wolves as a self-sustaining, breeding population were probably extinct in Montana by the 1930's.
Since moving to Montana I've had the unique opportunity to see grizzlies, black bears, moose, eagles, hawks, even a bobcat once. But I've never seen a wolf in the wild and it's not likely I will so I jumped at the chance to at least see them in a natural setting.
My mother and I have an affinity for wolves, sharing books about them: The Ninemile Wolves by Rick Bass and Shadow Mountain by Renee' Askins are a couple we have enjoyed reading. Even though they're pack animals, there's something lonely about the wolf. Their eyes hint at something longed for but never found and yet their search goes on. Their midnight howl is the music of this ache, this longing. When I watched the wolves at Wolfkeep I felt that longing in my own soul and I think my mother feels it to. It connects us to these animals and it connects us to each other. And sometimes that's as close as we'll get to understanding another person, or a wild creature, or the nature of the universe.
We are filled with a longing for the wild. There are few culturally sancetioned antidotes for this yearning. We were taught to feel shame for such a desire. We grew our hair long and used it to hide our feelings. But the shadow of the Wild Woman still lurks behind us during our days and in our nights. No matter where we are, the shadow that trots behind us is definitely four-footed.
I love you, mom.
10 comments:
Thank you for this.
the wolf has been calling to me in powerful ways these past weeks and reading your thoughts here was yet another piece coming into the whole.
The loneliness you speak of, that look in they eyes that is wild and seeking and aching, yes, this is what I have felt, what has been calling my name.
Thank-you.
Bella, for you, a thousand times over. :)
Angela what a surprising and beautiful post! Wonderful.
Let's face it, I love wolves. :>
(that's supposed to be my wolf picture)
Angela--Your post touches not only wolves and women and needs and longing, but one of the heart challenges of life for all of us.
We have the chance to turn that yearning inward, to seek what we need within us. That's where it is, so why not look there?
When we make the connection inside ourselves, our eyes portray a willingness toward giving and connecting, not a longing anymore.
Now, if I can only figure out how to do, every day, what I just suggested...
What a beautiful and evocative post, Angela! Thanks!!
I love this post Angela. You reminded me of how, my whole life, I've felt like that wolf. I've always had a pack to hang out with but have always sensed a feeling of being alone. Something missing. My journey these past few years, especially after being divorced, is to find that sense of balance between being a part of everything and being alone.
Happy Thursday!
There are only about five books in the whole world I will carry with me from home to home and never get rid of. Pinkola-Estes book is one of them. How wonderful that you did this!
Wolves are awesome and it's a pity that we still know so very little about them. What's worse is that they've suffered because of our ignorance. What a cool activity you picked!
I've noticed that those who read Estés's book are seldom the same as they were before setting out on that journey.
what a beautiful photo! I've seen coyotes around here...we're too developed for wolves, I think.
this post is so beautiful and so explicit. I feel like you are speaking to the deepest places in me and possibly, in all of us. How wonderful that you and your Mom can share something so earthy, unearthly, mysterious and primal.
wolves. another connect, angela.
(going back in your blog, as you can see.)
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