It is a Monday evening and I've been sober 25 days. Each day is a challenge and I find myself wishing I hadn't waited so long to stop drinking again. Looking back, it doesn't seem like I had that much choice, but I know I did. I'm trying hard not to beat myself up about it and I think it's actually an energy I can use to sustain my sobriety. I forgot that for me the most important thing, the first thing and sometimes the only thing, is to not drink. When you have alcoholism, sobriety is sobriety and everything else is everything else. I forgot that for a long time.
I seem to be getting back to my right mind. I'm glad there are meetings to attend, e-mail lists to particpate in and blogs to read. I'm grateful for all the hands that are reaching out for me.
5 comments:
Hang in there Angela -- I remember my first few weeks and even months of sobriety and how hard it was at times.
Little by little the faculties clear and the roller coaster stops, the numbness goes away -- and the support is still there, sustaining and a place to feel safe.
So long as I stay sober, everything else is possible.
Love & hugs
Mary
Twenty-five days is awesome. Just think, your body is getting healthier. It was amazing to me how much better I began to feel after about 60 days. At the time where you are, I was pretty beat most of the time. Don't feel bad if you feel exhausted. It's normal. Your body is healing :)
Thanks, you guys. Just trying to remember to breathe right now. :)
I am so happy for you, Angela. You WILL get back to being you. As you said, just focus on what you have to do right NOW, which is not drink. You continue to inspire me, Love, O
Hooray, Angela. 25 days is a super accomplishment. It is so hard, in general, but especially in the beginning. Don't beat yourself up for not going back to sobriety sooner - that would be a waste of much needed energy.
I heard this affirmation today and loved it:
I know forgiving myself and others for errors of the past will give me more energy and focus.
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