I wanted to wait and resume blogging when I actually felt something positive to write about, but it looks like that may be awhile down the road so I decided to just jump back in right where I am.
Did you know that lack of sleep can make you suicidal? Homicidal even? At the very least severely depressed? It's true. Just in the past month both 60 Minutes and Oprah have had segments about insomnia and how it affects the human body, brain and emotions. It's been almost six weeks since my surgery and I'm still hurting enough at night that I don't sleep through. I have gotten up to sleeping about four or five hours at a time which is a vast improvement from the night's I haven't slept at all, but it isn't enough yet to counteract the ill effects. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I were like that one woman on Oprah who gets up and cleans the house and bakes cakes when she can't sleep, but about the most I can do is wander around in a daze or do a little reading.
I've developed a lovely little syndrome called patella femoral pain syndrome. It's a common complication after ACL surgery, especially for women. The PT and I are working on it with some exercises, but so far it still hurts like a . . . . well, like hell.
In a way, thank god I was laid off right after surgery because I know myself and I would've pushed myself to get back to work as soon as possible and I think if I actually had to be somewhere every morning at 8:00, someone probably would be dead. As it is, I'm doing my little side job three hours an afternoon and even after six weeks, that's about all I can handle. Of course, some days and nights are better than others and there really is light at the end of the tunnel.
The positive side to all this is that I've been forced into an exercise routine that was sorely needed and I've lost a little weight to go along with it. Oh. Did you know that lack of sleep can also cause you to gain weight? Honestly, it can wreak a lot of havoc in a person's life.
I've discovered a lot about myself in these past weeks. I think the most important discovery is that I seem to have acquired some faith somewhere along this life path. I have faith in my ability to care for myself, faith that this is all perfect timing and faith that the universe is unfolding exactly as it should. And I have faith that I will soon be pain-free and asleep for a full 8 hours. I absolutely get that this is a just a tiny blip on the screen and that each day is a gift and an opportunity. Of course, I actually slept for five hours straight last night.
Hi. I'm Angela. Eclectic Recovery is my blog and I welcome you to its pages.
ER began as an exploration into my ongoing issues with addiction/mental illness and the solutions I employed and experiences I went through attempting to navigate a course to health. Mostly they have been unsuccessful and ridiculous. Such, I find, is much of life.
My own problems with addiction have led me to catch onto the fact that virtually the entire world is addicted and that a forced detox is imminent. Peak oil, climate change & continued destruction, imperialism, corruption, global financial and food insecurity - these things will not go away just because we don't look.
My recent intense self-education into these issues still feels way behind the curve. At the same time, I realize that the majority of folks still can't stomach the topics and are in deep denial of our dilemma. But becoming informed and taking action, accepting responsbility and stepping up to the plate are going to, at the very least, make it much easier when you release that last breath. At best, you could get to be part of a revolution for change that will move us from an oiil-based, patriarchally defined way of life towards a reverence based society wherein all life is honored and we become, again, just another part of that life.
There's a lot of information out there and I believe I've gotten pretty good at separating the wheat from the chaff. I am called to provide anyone who happens to visit ER the good information I'm finding and attempt to engage them in action.
ER is no longer just a personal blog. It's political, too.