Tuesday, February 12, 2008

The Soul's Companion

Behavior Patterns
"When I become aware of destructive behavior patterns, they can serve a wonderful purpose: I can use them as indicators of where my inner work lies. Any situation to which I have a constant over-reaction is telling me something about myself that I need to listen to. My first task is to realize the reaction is not fitting the circumstance, then to sit with that realization, and see through association where it takes me. No one knows my history better than I do, if I allow myself to know it.

When I make the decision to come into conscious awareness, to find meaning in my life experience, I begin to experience life as an adventure - my adventure. When I raise the source of the unwanted pattern to consciousness to better understand where my pain or reaction stems from, I can begin to see it for what it is and let it go. Then I am no longer repeating history, I am making it. " Tian Dayton, Ph.D.

I've been sitting through the aftermath of some bad decision making on my part this week and at times my body has felt like that picture above (taken at Yellowstone). It feels like some alchemical fire is burning out all my. . . karma, for lack of a better word. Instead of continually berating myself for making some bad decisions in the first place, I am moving forward, trying hard to not get stuck in the negative emotions and to remember that in 5 minutes everything will be ok. Time to make some history.

9 comments:

claud said...

Sometimes it doesn't seem to me like I'm ever going to feel better (when I'm feeling bad, I mean), but I always do.

I'm glad you're taking some time to be gentle and loving to yourself -- during a time I think we all need it most.

Drink tea. Watch favorite movies. Read a book by Nora Ephrom! :)

Love, c

Olivia said...

Wonderful quote, Angela. Keep moving forward. Your journey and your honesty inspires me! Love, O

Journey Through Life said...

Both you and Olivia. I am so grateful for you this afternoon. Your words have helped me through a difficult patch. Thank you.

I loved the opening sentence..
"When I become aware of destructive behaviour patterns, they can serve a wonderful purpose: I can use them as indicators of where my inner work lies."

My adventure right now is to discover why this desire to eat eat eat so often comes and overwhelms me. Looking at it as an adventure is exciting!

And the last sentence of the quote - just great!

You are doing so well to work through your aftermath. 5 minutes is such a great plan. We are with you!

Annie
xxx

Diva Carla said...

Hi Angela,

I have been reading you, the Eclipse and its aftermath, which you are sitting with now. I slammed into this eclipse hard, and all kinds of crap flew off. It felt awful then, it feels great now! 5 minutes at a time, feeling better and better. I appreciate you.

Carla

PS I just don't have any blogging energy myself these days. I think it will come back soon. Maybe by the full moon, I'll pull myself together again. Grief hit me like a hurricane this month. Beautiful and dreadful all at once.

bella said...

What a wonderful quote.
Forgiving ourselves, letting our humanity be what it is, this is soul work.
Peace to you as you sit with what is the aftermath and make your own history.

miss*R said...

just catching up after my little 3am rant! thankyou so much for your comment.. xoox
I too, have the same feeling as you and it seems we both struggle periodically. I am trying to move forward to - I have to remember to find joy in my life.. maybe if I tie a string around my finger, I will remember!

Angela said...

C, Yes and all hail Bridget Jones! :)

O & Annie, Thanks, as always.

Carla,

I'm really thinking of you as you experience the grief of losing your mom. Yeah, it was some kind of eclipse, huh?

Bella & Miss R, Thanks.

Rae said...

Angela,

Thanks so much for visiting my place in the blogosphere and for adding me to your list of "Friends and Neighbors." I like that .. "Friends and Neighbors."

I loved the quote in this post as well ... I do learn so much from the things to which I overeact. It was a good time for me to read this quote though and be reminded of that. It also evokes the reminder that I can only see in others something that is within myself.

Thanks for sharing the journey.

kikipotamus said...

You're reminding me of the Jungian work I did with an analyst. Those reactions she called complexes. Good for you for noodling around in them to see what they are made of.