LifeRing Story in San Francisco Bay Times

This is a story of how one addict was helped by an alternative recovery program. LifeRing Secular Recovery (LSR) was begun in the San Francisco area and has many meetings based in California. In the past few years, LifeRing meetings have begun popping up all around the U.S. It's heartening to read this guy's story. He clearly needed another choice. Thanks to LifeRing, he got one. There is a link to the LifeRing website on the left of this blog. And here: www.unhooked.com.


LifeRing Offers Secular Recovery
By Tom Moon, MFT
Published: August 23, 2007
“You should write a column about LifeRing,” Brad writes in an e-mail. “Hardly anybody seems to know about that program, but those guys totally saved my ass.” Now in his late thirties, he’s been struggling with alcohol and drug addiction since his early teens. He got serious about recovery six years ago, when his addiction to crystal meth destroyed his relationship with a partner whom he deeply loved. But Brad is also a self-described “secular humanist” and a “committed atheist.” He’s been in two treatment programs. Both of them were based on the philosophy of Alcoholics Anonymous and required attendance at twelve-step meetings. “I tried and tried to fit myself into that mold,” he writes, “and I just couldn’t do it.
They were very welcoming and told me I could take what worked and leave the rest, but all of the “higher power” talk at the meetings made me feel totally alienated. I couldn’t feel like I was a part of it, and didn’t stay sober.”
When a friend told him about a new self-help recovery program not based on spiritual principles, Brad located a meeting and attended it. “For the first time,” he writes, “I felt relaxed in a recovery meeting. There were no “drunkalogues” no 12 steps, and – yay! – no God talk. The focus was on what’s happening in our lives now. We just went around the room and checked in about how our week had gone. You could
talk about any drug you were trying to quit, not just alcohol. And “cross talk” was fine. We were allowed to ask questions and make comments on what each other said. At the end of the meeting, we gave ourselves a round of applause for staying clean and sober. That was all there was to it. I loved it.” Brad began attending meetings regularly.
LifeRing Secular Recovery (LSR) is a relatively new program. It evolved from an earlier organization and only began to acquire its independent identity in 1999, but since then it’s grown rapidly. There are now meetings in every area of the country, as well as in Canada, Europe, Australia, and Asia, and there are regularly scheduled online meetings at its website. The program has three core values: Sobriety: Like AA and NA, LSR is an abstinence-based program. Its motto is “Sobriety is our priority.” It’s a program for people who have come to the conclusion that the only solution for them is abstinence. By “sobriety” LifeRing means complete abstinence from alcohol and illicit or non-medically indicated drugs. Secularity: LSR is an alternative to programs which stress spiritual or religious solutions to addiction, but
that doesn’t mean that it’s just for atheists or agnostics. As explained on the Web site, “The proportion of churchgoers and others in LifeRing is about the same as in the general population. Since the LifeRing recovery process does not rely on a “higher power” or similar concepts, LifeRing participants’ religious
and/ or spiritual beliefs remain private and don’t become an issue in the meeting.” While some of its members, like Brad, don’t use 12 step programs, LSR as a program supports a pragmatic, “whatever works for you” approach to recovery. Some people in LifeRing are also members of AA and NA. Self-Help: LSR believes that sobriety is a learned skill like learning to ride a bicycle. Sometimes people fall, but if they keep getting back on the bike, eventually they learn to ride. In LifeRing, members build their own individualized recovery programs. Plenty of tools and support from others in recovery are provided. Nobody is required to call themselves an “alcoholic” or an “addict.” Some choose to do it and some don’t. In LifeRing “The effort to stop drinking and using and drugs is required. The self-defining
labels and the theories behind them are optional.”
Can such a simple approach actually help addicts recover? As far as I know, there have as yet been no scientific evaluations of LifeRing’s effectiveness, although the program invites and welcomes scientific scrutiny. But judging by how it has grown, many people are apparently finding it helpful, and LSR meetings are increasingly accepted in treatment facilities as alternatives to 12 step meetings, a sign of its
growing respect among treatment professionals.
As for Brad, he just celebrated his first year of being completely clean and sober. That’s his longest period of abstinence since he began drinking at age 14. “I know that’s not long, compared to all the years I was fucked up, but I now know that I have the power to live without drugs and alcohol. The support I’ve gotten has been great, and so far I haven’t had a relapse since my first meeting.” Currently, he attends both of the two meetings that are available in his area, and checks in regularly with other LifeRing members.
Anyone who would like more information about this addiction recovery option can access the LSR website, www.unhooked.com. The site also contains a region-by-region listing of meetings. Tom Moon is a psychotherapist in San Francisco. His website is tommoon.net.

Venus Ritual

I love using ritual as part of my recovery program. Ritual is a way of accessing the subconscious mind and joining personal intent with whatever universal force we believe in. We can think of this force in any way that suits us: as simply the energy of the world, as a Higher Power personal to us, as a pagan deity, or as Jung termed it - “the collective unconscious.” It’s our choice.

I came across the ritual I’m about to describe in an astrology book by Caroline Casey. “Making the Gods Work for You,” is a playfully intelligent book about the archetypes described by astrology and how they manifest here on planet earth. This ritual was originally written as a way of summoning love, but I’ve used it primarily for letting go of something I no longer wish to entertain in my life. Sometimes it’s been a bad habit, a serious addiction, a person, an idea or a belief. The physical and mental activity of performing ritual is a profound way to signal that we’re serious about what we’re doing. And it’s a very fun way to do a very serious thing.

Venus is the goddess of love, but she’s also the goddess of beauty, wealth, money and everything that adds that special sense of sweetness to our lives. Finding Venus in our birth chart can be an eye-opener to the people and things that really get our juices flowing, that make us want to dance and eat and make love ‘til the sun comes up. In the earth-based religions and astrology, Venus’ day is Friday – so it’s good to do this ritual on a Friday.

Take a round piece of bread, such as a roll, make a hole in it, and put a nickel inside (the number five is sacred to Venus.) On top of the nickel, place a little piece of folded paper on which you have written what it is you’re releasing to the universe; or if you’re using it to attract love, write those qualities that you seek in your beloved. Put a little honey on top of that, then place a short candle on top of the honey, whatever color is your favorite, and light it. While the candle is burning, honor Venus: play beautiful music, take a long bubble bath, eat some healthy and gorgeous food – with Dessert!, get a massage, paint your toenails – be outrageous and hedonistic. When the candle is completely burned down so that only melted wax remains on top of the bread, take it to sweet water - a river, pond, lake or stream. Throw the now completely biodegradable bread-candle into the water and in your own words, state your intention. Relax and release. Now, keep an eye out for that goddess. She’ll show up in a few days. Have fun.

Violence does not work

Violence does not work
Except for the man
Who pays your salary
Who knows
If you could still weep
You would not take the job.

Alice Walker

I had a dream last night and awoke remembering this quote. I'm pondering the lives of women and men for whom this is a reality (wondering if I'm included in their numbers) and how this relates to addiction. Life can be so complicated; is it any wonder some of us get lost in our relief?

Moonshadow

Yes, I'm bein' followed by a moon shadow
Moon shadow, moon shadow
Leapin' and a hoppin' on a moon shadow,
Moon Shadow, moon shadow.

Cat Stevens

Full Moon in Pisces

The full moon is at 4 degree of Pisces tomorrow morning and the lunar eclipse makes it an especially potent one. Pisces is the most mystical, spiritual sign of the zodiac and its ruler is Neptune, god of the sea. Pisces and/or Neptune often play a big role in the charts of alcoholics and addicts because the shadow side of not connecting with your soul can all too often lead to self-destructive and addictive behavior. The questions I'll be asking myself at this moon will be: Am I living out my soul's purpose the best I can at this time in my life? Do I need to re-evaluate my spiritual practices and be sure I'm putting them to practical use in the world? Am I exercising compassion, understanding and commitment with the people in my life? I'll also make sure that I stay aware of the Pisces/Neptune shadow by being honest with myself and those around me and by staying sober one day at a time. Pisces is the ruler of the natural 12th house of the zodiac - sometimes called the House of Secrets, Sorrows and Self-Undoing. Sounds like the house of addictions to me. But, the 12th house is also about discovering the meaning of life through those very same secrets, sorrows and self-undoing. When we finally discover a meaning in life, whatever it is for us, we can stop creating secrets and sorrows for ourselves and work on self-doing instead of un-doing. The eclipse is visible in the wee hours before dawn across North America. Some portion of this eclipse is visible everywhere in North America, the farther to the West the better. California, Oregon, Washington, British Columbia, the Yukon Territory, Alaska, Hawaii and the western parts of Nevada will see the eclipse in its totality. The partial phase begins at 4:51 a.m. EDT, totality begins at 5:52 a.m., totality ends at 7:22 a.m., and the partial phase ends at 8:24 a.m.

Which means two hours earlier than that for me here in Montana - crap, I've got to get to bed. Happy Sky Watching.

My Favorite Bloggers

How cool is this blogging thing? I love it!! While it can border on being addictive, and in my world that can be a little risky, it's mostly just fun. And I'm all for fun, and diversity, and learning, and beauty, and food, and good writing, and interesting people.

One of the most enjoyable things about blogging is finding other bloggers that, through their writing, link to my own heart. I like blogs that tell you something about the blogger but also serve a larger purpose. Usually that purpose is sharing what the blogger feels is important or has helped them in life, or sharing their writing, photography, cooking, expertise, family, etc.

I keep changing up my blogroll. At first I just put up blogs of friends I knew. Then I thought maybe I should only link to other recovery blogs, but I figured out pretty quickly how limiting that would be. Each blog that I currently link to upholds the principles I think are important for a good blog and a good life: they're creative, serve a larger purpose, and they're written by people who care about other people and the world in which we live. And oh yeah, they're fun and beautiful and usually link to lots of great food!

So let me tell you a little about my favorite bloggers out there and why I like them so much.

Women at Rest - An Oasis for the Frazzled and Overwhelmed is written by Carla Blazek. Carla has a website called Zena Moon where she sells the most beautiful candles - each one with a crystal inside and a lovely quote describing its specific purpose. I've been a practitioner of candle magic for awhile now and Carla definitely has it down to a fine art. Carla is also an eloquent teacher of how to be calm and centered in life. I love the aesthetic beauty of her blog and the practicality and simplicity of her ideas. Thanks, Carla.

The Practical Vampire Slayer is written by a good personal friend of mine, Claudia Cunningham. Claudia is working on her book by the same title. Practical Vampire Slaying is all about the importance of owning our power, being clear in our actions and words, and making sure we don't get blood-sucked by invasive people, institutions, ideas, or our own minds. Claudia's voice, like Claudia herself, is funny, friendly and smart. Her advice is dead-on. (pun absolutely intended) Thank you, Claude, for everything.

Sherri Blossoms is a blog written by another soon-to-be-published writer. Sherri's fantasy novel, Ea's Gift, should be hitting bookstores near you in the not too distant future. Sherri is a great blog-buddy and was one of the three readers of the now defunct Dancing in a Sparsely Populated Forest. Thanks, Sherri!

Political Waves by Judith Gayle is published at my favorite astrology site, Planet Waves. These people are deep thinkers, creative visionaries and excellent writers. Judith is doing her best to wake folks up to what's going on in the insane world of politics. Like me, she thinks the blending of church and state is a grievous error and that our leaders are steadily marching us toward the Fourth Reich. Jude, you're an inspiration.

I love Maya's Granny! Her blog description says it all: "This is where I share the wisdom that a granny, as an elder of the tribe, accumulates in her journey through life. The reach of my mind is wide, and sometimes even a little deep. Sometimes, like Whitman, I contradict myself. Sometimes I wax eloquent. Sometimes I fall on my face. Why not do it in public?" Oh man, you gotta love that.

Jennifer Graf Groneberg is another personal friend of mine. Jennifer is a homeschooling mother of three, an organic farmer, and a beautiful writer and person. Her book, " Roadmap to Holland: How I Found My Way Through My Son's First Two Years with Down Syndrome (NAL/Pengiun, 2008)." is about her family's experience of having a child with Down's Syndrome. You will love Avery and the entire Graf Groneberg clan. "Roadmap to Holland" is being published by NAL/Penguin in 2008. It can be pre-ordered now at her website. Thank you, Jennifer.

Country Don't Mean Dumb is written by John Eaton (Little Bear), a photographer, musician, food lover, keeper of the fire and poet. John's site is gorgeous, smart and fun. It makes me long for the south in a way I haven't since I left five years ago. It's nice to remember the things I love about it. Thanks for the kudzu poem and the magnolia drop, John.

Confessions of a Pioneer Woman is written by Ree, a city sophisticate turned country girl. Ree channels Scarlett O'Hara, Ethel Merman and Sylvia Plath. And if that isn't enough to keep you coming back, oh my god, check out her food site! Good job, Ree.

Clarity of Night is by Jason Evans and seems to be one of the most generous writing blogs I've seen. Jason is an imaginative writer who enjoys encouraging other writers. He's collected quite the flock of up and coming wannabe's and it's a pleasure to read all of them. I love the generosity of this site and Jason.


Now, I've got to go make pesto. Visit later this week for the recipe and the Full Moon in Pisces.

Chocolate for Sobriety

Everything is better with chocolate and that includes recovery. I discovered this recipe in one of the best cookbooks I've ever invested in: "The Balanced Plate, The Essential Elements of Whole Foods and Good Health" by Renee Loux. More than a cookbook, The Balanced Plate is an adventure into the wonderful world of whole foods - as Renee says, "foods that nourish mind, body and soul." With chapters on the true cost of our food, the importance of organics, and special sections on using herbs, oils and various cooking methods, this is a book that will change the way you think about food.

Feeding myself well and learning to view eating as a spiritually as well as physically nourishing experience is one of the great joys of my recovery. Sharing meals with friends and family can be a daily exercise in gratitude for the abundance of our planet. Every recipe I've tried from this book is fabulous. This one is for treating yourself and your loved ones to the dark mystery of chocolate, the bright splash of fresh raspberries and the zing of mint. With very little sugar and lots of real food, this is one chocolate dessert you can feel good about. So without further ado, here is:

Chocolate of the Gods Mousse with Raspberries and Mint

Yields 8 servings
2 cups Hass avocados (about 2)
1/2 cup + 2 tablespoons maple syrup
2-4 tablespoons evaporated cane juice or organic sugar (otpional)
2 tablespoons coconut butter (optional)
1-2 teaspoons non-alcohlic vanilla extract
1 teaspoon balsamic vinegar (aged balsamic is best)
1/2 teaspoon shoyu (soy sauce)
1 cup pure cocoa powder (Green & Black's is choice) (I've used Ghirardelli with good results)
1 pint raspberries
Handful of fresh mint leaves, chopped

In a food processor, blend the avocados, maple syrup, cane juice or sugar, coconut butter, vanilla, balsamic vinegar and shoyu until smooth and creamy.

Add the cocoa powder and blend until smooth. Sifting the cocoa powder before adding it is a good idea to prevent lumps. A simple metal strainer works well.

Distribute half the raspberries evently among 4 to 6 dessert glasses. Follow with a dollop of mousse, a sprinkle of mint, the remaining raspberries, and more mint.

Leftover mousse can be stored in a tightly sealed container for up to a week in the fridge or frozen for up to a month. (Mine has never made it to either place!)

Nutrition: Per serving, 170 calories, 7 g total fat, 2 g saturated fat, 3 g protein, 29 g carbohydrates, 7 g dietary fiber, 25 mg sodium.

Please visit Renee's website at www.reneeloux.com

Mmmmm, Mmmmmm. Enjoy!

It's Your Choice

Addiction is bondage. Whether we're addicted to drugs, alcohol, a person, food, sex or the internet, the most precious thing we lose is our freedom. Living in a self-made prison is like being a hamster on a wheel, running and running and never getting anywhere, always looking for the way out through the same door that got us in. If we're lucky, we begin to realize that we've caged ourselves into a cycle of destruction that will eventually lead to our demise. If we're lucky, we'll take the steps necessary, whatever they are, to free ourselves from the hell that has become our life.

As you can see from the information on this blog, there are more and more ways to find your freedom. Twelve steps, sixteen, or none, the choices are growing for those of us with a desire to live life on life's terms, free from the self-deception and demoralization that come with any addiction. There was a time not too long ago when there were no choices. What happened to us then? We ended up in institutions, jail, a burden to relatives, on the street, or dead. AA changed all that and for the first time, alcoholics and addicts began to find sobriety and new lives filled with joy and purpose.

AA is a wonderful program. Until recently, however, it was the only game in town for recovery. It's still hard to locate any face to face meetings other than AA. The danger when something is the only option is that it can become fundamentalist and narrow-minded. It seems obvious that's not what AA's founders intended, but due to the wholesale acceptance of AA by treatment centers and professionals, and their lack of creativity in seeking alternative solutions that would fit for all people, AA became their business and in the process neither AA nor the recovering community was well-served.

As people with addiction problems, we are lucky that things are beginning to change, albeit slowly. AA will not be threatened by these changes; it will be strengthened. We, as recovering people, will be strengthed by the mindful choices we are able to make about our sobriety, and society as a whole will be strengthened by more and more people freeing themselves from bondage and living purposeful lives. What path will you choose?

Addiction Alchemy, A Different Approach to Recovery

Addiction Alchemy™ is a program based on a Native American path-working system known as the medicine wheel, and Kabalistic teaching, an ancient Jewish mysticism. Specifically, the program focuses on the following: The four directions and creation of personal sacred space (this includes prayer and meditation); recognizing over or under-identification with archetypes and employing the healthy integration of archetypes; the use of ritual and ceremony for psychospiritual work; personal inner work that the individual does outside a group context.

Addiction Alchemy™ offers the opportunity to participate in the process with a small group of people over a period of several months. Their location is Fort Myers, Florida and the groups are $50 each, which leads me to believe they ain’t just doing this for the money. The website has a tremendous amount of information about the medicine wheel and using it in conjunction with other programs.

The medicine wheel is a journey around the compass of our lives. If your religious leanings are more Earth-based than Christian, this model offers a blueprint for using the 12 steps that may be more in line with your core beliefs. I can easily see the 16-steps of empowerment fitting in the wheel as well as the affirmations of Women for Sobriety.

Addiction Alchemy™ was founded by Renee Bledsoe. Her brother died of drug addiction and alcoholism. There’s a beautiful link on the website for submitting memorials for loved ones who have died from addiction. She writes on the website:

The ability to "plug in", exchange and interchange archetypes, imagery, symbology and practices into the Medicine Wheel frame work allows the program to meet the individual "where they are at on the map". The eclecticism and elasticity of Addiction Alchemy could allow an entire population, who for whatever reason could not connect with 12 Steps and Alcoholics Anonymous, to connect to the over-arching power of archetypal energy healing.

The website also has a ton of resources including instructions on creating your own medicine wheel and rituals for intention and release. Exploring the links to all the different interactive tools can lead to at least several very pleasant sober hours. I hope you enjoy exploring this beautiful and informative site.

So Whaddya Think?

About the new look? I think I like it better; it seems easier to read and follow. By next week I hope to have a newer picture either with or without a current cat. The cat in the picture, Newman ('cause he's so handsome of course) doesn't live with me anymore. Mom! You ding-a-ling, that's not Kisster! I'm very tired today and am having a major nap-attack at work because I stayed up late listening to good music Bruce Cockburn , spending time with a good friend and just generally enjoying the sober life. Actually, yesterday was just stellar, being my friend The Practical Vampire Slayer's birthday and all - couldn't have been better. So - let me know what you think. About the new blog look, you know. Thanks!

New Moon in Leo

Tonight's new moon is in the 19th degree of Leo at 6:02 p.m. EST. Leo is all about shining brightly. Leos are enthusiastic, warm, engaging and magnetic. Like their ruling planet, the sun, when Leos come out everyone wants to join in the fun. When you go to a party, the first person you will notice is probably a Leo. Leo is the ruler of the 5th house, the house of creative self-expression as well as sex, children, joy and the arts. The 5th house is the place where we instinctively give affection, from our heart and not from any sense of obligation.

This new moon asks us to examine how we encourage our own life force. Are we seeking our personal sun by engaging with people and activities that bring out the light in us? Do we have ways of expressing ourselves that make us feel happy to be alive on this planet and participating in the dance of life? Are there obstacles we allow to block our way that we could replace with something more life-affirming? Whatever makes you feel your inner lioness, take it out and work on it. Give it your unique personal expression and then send it out into the world.

The One-pot Wonder

I love this recipe. I adapted it from "The Self Healing Cookbook" by Kristina Turner. (link below) It's especially good for early recovery because it’s easy, so nutritious and can be cooked on the weekend and eaten throughout the week. Early recovery can leave a person feeling like they're floating in outer space most of the time. The ingredients in this recipe are grounding and will help with that awful spacy feeling. As anyone who has been in recovery can tell you, there are lots of times in life when it feels like early recovery again. Moves, break-ups, deaths, job changes, pregnancy – all these things can throw us into a susceptible state both physically and mentally. Healty food can can work as a recovery tool in those times, providing the support our bodies need while our spirits and minds are working to heal.

Here is the basic recipe:

½ cup basmati brown rice
½ cup lentils
½ cup potatoes
½ cup carrots
½ cup onion or leeks
4 garlic cloves
1 cup greens
1 strip kombu
1 strip wakame
2 cups water
large pinch sea salt (for heaven’s sake throw out that table salt!)

Okay. First, coat your pot with a high-heat tolerant cooking oil such as coconut, grapeseed or safflower. (You'll want a covered pot that can go from stovetop to oven.) Soak the kombu and wakame in very hot water for 15-30 minutes. These vegetables are purchased dried and will expand in the water. Remove sea vegetables and leave the water in the pot. Wash and chop your land vegetables into bite-sized pieces. Chop sea vegetables. Pre-heat oven to 350-degrees. Wash the rice and lentils and place in the pot with your mineral-soaked water. Layer vegetables on top of the rice and lentils. Cover and bring to a boil on the stovetop. As soon as the water boils, take off the stovetop and place in oven. Bake, covered, for 45 minutes to one hour or until all the water is soaked in. Notice that there's not one ingredient in this dish that doesn't provide excellent nutritional value. No sugar, no flour, no butter. Nothin' but the good stuff.

Now let me tell you about those two funky sounding ingredients you may never have heard of: kombu and wakame. These are sea vegetables and they may be my best discovery of the past year. (Thank you, Mary!) What’s so great about sea vegetables? Well, just about everything. They’re loaded with calcium and iron, two nutrients especially important for women at every phase of life. They also provide B-vitamins, Vitamin A, potassium, magnesium, phosphorous and iodine. Now, on to the minerals: selenium, zinc, copper, rubidium, nickel and molebdenum abound in these lovely ladies from the sea. Because of the depletive agricultural methods employed over the past century, our land vegetables are sorely lacking in most of these nutrients. Since I’ve been using sea vegetables in cooking, my hair has quit falling out in handfuls. The shower drain is no longer clogged with strands of hair that belong on my head! That’s enough for me to realize that I’m getting something from these vegetables that I don’t get anywhere else. Here’s to thick, shiny, full beautiful hair!!

Another great thing about this recipe is that you can literally use any vegetable combination. Last night I used blue potatoes, onion, garlic, kale, carrots and zucchini. I also experimented with the lentils and used tiny dark bulghar lentils. I prefer the larger ones, but the bulghar gave the dish a beautiful dark purple color. The road to recovery is paved with brightly colored foods! I have used sweet potatoes, peas, green beans, brussel sprouts, broccoli, daikon radish, spinach, collards, mustard greens, celery, mushrooms, squash, swiss chard – the list is really endless. I always use one or more root vegetables and at least one leafy green. I always use garlic, and onion or leek. You can also use more or less rice, and more or less lentils according to your taste. Just adjust the amount of water to match the amount of rice and beans. Wanna make more? Just increase your quantities and use a bigger pot! The only drawback I have found to this dish is that it doesn’t freeze well; put it in an airtight container, though, and it will last for 5-6 days in the refrigerator.

I hope you like this recipe as much as I do. Let me know what vegetable combinations you like best and how you feel after eating this luscious food.

10. We continue to trust our reality and daily affirm that we see what we see, know what we know and feel what we feel.

That’s the 10th step from Charlotte Kasl’s 16-step empowerment program. This step speaks to me loud and clear about why I’m living sober.

Part of my descent into alcoholism was about not being able to deal with reality. I don't know if this is true for all alcoholics; I think some people just accidentally drank too much and I think some people were born alcoholic. But for me, the complications, visscitudes and general messiness of life would become seemingly unbearable and drinking became my way of diving back under the covers and staying in bed. Like a lot of people, I had some experiences that left me questioning my reality. Since people around me were saying one thing and doing another it left me feeling confused and distracted, unable to trust my perceptions of the world. So rather than do the hard work of actually figuring out what the reality was and facing up to it, I ducked for cover, figuring that if I ignored it long enough it would go away. I’ve since discovered that a lot of people manage to find a way to ignore reality that doesn’t involve going into blackouts on a regular basis, becoming familiar with the inside of a jail cell or putting other people at risk behind the wheel of a car. I used to feel tremendous envy of these people because that seemed like the goal – to figure out a way to circumvent the hard stuff without hurting anyone. I don’t envy them so much anymore. I’ve come to believe that part of staying really alive while you’re alive involves wrestling with reality, working through the choke holds, sidestepping the sucker punches and letting it pin you to the mat a few times until you finally come to an acceptance of it. I know when I’m fighting with reality now, and I know I will never win by trying to make it something it’s not. I know the feeling because it’s the same one that says, “Oh, Angela, a drink won’t hurt you. Just one.” Sober I have the opportunity to see what I see, know what I know and feel what I feel. Drinking, I don’t have the foggiest clue.

Herbal Infusions

Sounds like something you'd mainline, huh? Actually, an herbal infusion is a large amount of dried herbs brewed for a long time. Herbal infusions are chock full of minerals and phytoestrogens, especially healthful for women coming into their menopausal years. I first learned of herbal infusions from the book, "New Menopausal Years, The Wise Woman Way", by Susan Weed. (see link below) To make an herbal infusion take one ounce of dried leaves/flowers of the herb, place in a quart jar of boiling hot water with a tight lid, let brew for 4-8 hours, strain, refigerate and drink within 48 hours. A word about infusions is in order here: you don't drink them for the taste. Although the oatstraw is not bad tasting, the others will take some getting used to, but I find that they feel so good to my system that I enjoy drinking them anyway. The four main herbs that Susan recommends are stinging nettle, oatstraw, red clover and comfrey. The following information is directly from Susan's excellent website, http://www.susanweed.com:

Stinging nettle (Urtica dioica) builds energy, strengthens the adrenals, and is said to restore youthful flexibility to blood vessels. A cup of nettle infusion contains 500 milligrams of calcium plus generous amounts of bone-building magnesium, potassium, silicon, boron, and zinc. It is also an excellent source of vitamins A, D, E, and K. For flexible bones, a healthy heart, thick hair, beautiful skin, and lots of energy, make friends with sister stinging nettle. It may make you feel so good you'll jump up and exercise.

Oatstraw (Avena sativa) reduces high cholesterol, increases libido, and strengthens the nerves. A cup of oatstraw infusion contains more than 300 milligrams of calcium plus generous amounts of many other minerals. Its steroidal saponins nourish the pancreas and liver, improving digestion and stabilizing moods. Oatstraw is best known however for its ability to enhance libido and mellow the mood. Do be careful whom you share it with, or you may find yourself sowing some wild oats. In Auryuvedic medicine, oatstraw is considered the finest of all longevity tonics.

Red clover (Trifolium pratense) is better in every way than its cousin soy. It contains four phytoestrogens; soy has only one (isoflavone). Red clover infusion has ten times more phytoestrogens than soy "milk," fewer calories, more calcium, and no added sugars. Red clover is the world's leading anti-cancer herb; soy isoflavone encourages the growth of breast cancer cells in the lab. Red clover improves the memory; Japanese men who ate tofu twice a week doubled their risk of Alzheimer's disease. Soy beverage can contain up to 1000 times more aluminum than milk, according to Sally Fallon, lipid researcher and fat specialist. She believes that "the highly processed soy foods of today are perpetuating . . . nutrient deficiencies. . . ."


Comfrey (Symphytum) leaf is free of the compounds (PAs) found in the root that can damage the liver. I have used comfrey leaf infusion regularly for decades with no liver problems, ditto for the group of people at the Henry Doubleday Research Foundation who have eaten cooked comfrey leaves as a vegetable for four generations. Comfrey is also known as "knitbone," and no better ally for the woman with thin bones can be found. And, don't forget, comfrey contains special proteins used in the formation of short-term memory cells. Its soothing mucilage adds flexibility to joints, eyes, vagina, and lungs.

I'll be writing more about herbal infusions as I blog about some of the ongoing health issues I deal with. I've been very lucky and so far the only life-threatening problem I have is alcoholism/addiction, the others are mostly bothersome, but can be very uncomfortable. I'm talking about insomnia, restless legs syndrome, fybromyalgia, sinus problems and tendonitis/sciatica.

I find that the more I care for myself, especially using the abundance provided by the earth, the better I feel, mentally, physically and spiritually, and the more likely I am to remain on a sober path.

Now I'm off to make a stinging nettle infusion and see if I can't get these legs of mine to settle down!

Many Roads, One Journey

"Many Roads, One Journey" is a book by Charlotte Kasl, Ph.D. about the reasons AA may not be a fit for some people, especially women and minorities, and alternatives that are becoming available for them. Dr Kasl writes in the introduction,

"Many Roads, One Journey is for all people, but it is essentially positioned from the perspective of women and minorities, for it is their reality which has so often been omitted in approaches to overcoming addiction and dependency. Thus it gives support to people who want to follow or create new models of healing, and can be used to increase everyone's sensitivity to the beliefs and perspectives of others."

She proposes a program of sixteen steps of empowerment. They are as follows:

1. We admit that we were out of control with/powerless over alcohol (or whatever), but have the power to take charge of our lives and stop being dependent on substances or other people for our self-esteem and security.

2. We came to believe that God/the Goddess/Universe/Great Spirit (or whatever) awakens the healing wisdom within us when we open ourselves to that power.

3. We make a decision to become our authentic selves and trust in the healing power of the truth.

4. We examine our beliefs, addictions and dependent behavior in the context of living in a hierarchal, patriarchal culture.

5. We share with another person and the Universe all those things inside of us for which we feel shame and guilt.

6. We affirm and enjoy our strengths, talents and creativity, striving not to hide these qualities to protect others' egos.

7. We become willing to let go of shame, guilt and any behavior that keeps us from loving ourselves and others.

8. We make a list of people we have harmed and people who have harmed us, and take steps to clear out negative energy by making amends and sharing our grievances in a respectful way.

9. We express love and gratitude to others, and increasingly appreciate the wonder of life and the blessings we do have.

10. We continue to trust our reality and daily affirm that we see what we see, know what we know and feel what we feel.

11. We promptly acknowledge our mistakes and make amends when appropriate, but we do not say we are sorry for things we have not done and we do not cover up, analyze or take responsibility for the shortcomings of others.

12. We seek out situations, jobs and people that affirm our intelligence, perceptions and self-worth and avoid situations or people who are hurtful, harmful or demeaning to us.

13. We take steps to heal our physical bodies, organize our lives, reduce stress and have fun.

14. We seek to find our inward calling, and develop the will and wisdom to follow it.

15. We accept the ups and downs of life as natural events that can be used as lessons for growth.

16. We grow in awareness that we are interrelated with all living things and we contribute to restoring peace and balance on the planet.


For more about Charlotte Kasl and the Sixteen Step program visit her website at: http://www.charlottekasl.com/


Women for Sobriety was founded by the late Jean Kirkpatrick, Ph.D. Women For Sobriety is both an organization and a self-help program for women alcoholics. It is, in fact, the first national self-help program for women alcoholics.

Women For Sobriety has been providing services to women alcoholics since July, 1976. The WFS "New Life" Program grew out of one woman's search for sobriety. (See Turnabout: New Help for the Woman Alcoholic.) Now hundreds of WFS self-help groups are found all across this country and abroad.

Based upon a Thirteen Statement Program of positivity that encourages emotional and spiritual growth, the "New Life" Program has been extremely effective in helping women to overcome their alcoholism and learn a wholly new lifestyle.



Don't like all those steps? Don't believe in a Higher Power or a Great Spirit? Well, there's a program for you, too. It's known as Lifering Secular Recovery and is based on three simple principles: sobriety, secularity and self-help. The motto in LSR is, "We don't drink or use, no matter what." The LSR website www.unhooked.com is a vast resource of information, chatrooms, e-mail lists and meeting resources.

This is not an exhaustive list, just some of the programs I've come across in my years of seeking a sober life. I attained six years of continuous sobriety with the AA program from 1988-1994. For many years after I relapsed I was unable to make the same good use of AA so I began searching for alternatives. The lesson I take from this is that if something is working for you, don't mess with it!! I now use a combination of AA and LSR for support. This blog is about all the other things I do in my life to support sobriety. I have continued to struggle with relapse and I will continue to have as my goal long-term, stable sobriety.

I'd like to hear from you. What do you think about those sixteen steps? If you're a member of AA (I know you're out there!), what is it about that program that works for you? What other things do you incorporate into your life that support your recovery? Any Women for Sobriety members out there? LSR friends, please chime in.

Saturday I'll tell you about herbal infusions to calm the nervous system, tone the internal organs and generally make you feel good all over.

Alcoholics Anonymous

Since its inception in 1939, AA has become a national instituion. The 12 Steps are now used for everything from eating disorders to emotional problems. The prevalance of AA groups around the world makes it an excellent source of support, providing a place where recovering alcoholics can come together to help each other stay sober. Alcoholics helping other alcoholics is a primary principle of AA and in my recovery, the understanding of others who have been through many of the same experiences I have is a recovery tool without parallel.

Here are the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous:

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives had become
unmanageable.

2. We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to
sanity.

3. We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the power of God
as we understood him.

4. We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. We admitted to ourselves, to God and to another human being the exact nature
of our wrongs.

6. We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. We humbly asked him to remove our shortcomings.

8. We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make
amends to them all.

9. We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so
would injure them or others.

10. We concinuted to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly
admitted it.

11. We sought through prayer and meditation to increase our conscious contact
with God, as we understood him, praying only for knowledge of his will for
us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to
carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our
affairs.

Here is AA's official website: http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/?Media=PlayFlash

Tomorrow I'll write about some other models of recovery and support groups available.

Thanks for stopping by and don't forget, I'm eager to hear from you!!