Request to the Universe

I am so grateful for the many blessing that have been bestowed upon me. At times it seems as if I'm ungrateful, but usually I'm just confused about things and now they are becoming more clear to me. The more awake I become the more I realize how abudant the universe actually is, how there's quite enough for all of us. As Marianne Williams says,

"You are a child of god. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure about you. We were born to manifest the glory of god that is within us."

As a woman who sees herself in the divinity of the feminine, I would use goddess or at least god/goddess but I'm trying not to get caught up in semantics. It's just that the language we use is so powerful. But, I digress.

I'm going to leave blessings for her all over the town of Butte today in hopes that she hears my prayer and grants me one more blessing.

Knee Sundae with Whipped Cream and a Cherry on Top

A friend of mine gave me that card. Isn't it great? Now, I will admit to having felt picked on in the past few months, and to having been sorely tempted on numerous occasions to fall into that old yucky Victim mentality. But I've decided that whoever is doing the picking knows exactly what they're doing. Me? I'm just gonna relax.

I'm far enough away from the surgery now, and dealing with enough less pain to realize the absurdities and blessings that have occurred from this unplanned interruption in my life. My mom and sister, Pam, arrived the day before surgery. Mom flew back to Georgia last Sunday and Pam just left this (Sat.) morning. Dad got here yesterday and will stay until I feel comfortable driving myself again. They're doing me in shifts. I'm sure this is for their sanity as well as mine and is just a brilliant plan.

While I'm definitely ready for some alone time, I sure did hate to see Pam go. I've only known her for 44 years, but I learned something about Pam I never knew: in her daily life she's a school-bus driver - a no-nonsense benevolent dictator with the kids on her bus and the lung power to be heard over 20 or 30 of them. But by night I think she's a frustrated Florence Nightingale. She patiently fetched me water, food, and anything else I needed, washed my hair, did the grocery shopping, rented movies for us to watch, drove me back and forth to doctor's appointments and physical therapy, and generally took excellent care of me. And I only had to nudge her a little to keep the floor swept and the dishes washed. I'm really lucky to have the relationships I do with my sisters and I appreciate them more and more.

Speaking of physical therapy, I've decided it takes a special kind of person to deliver such torture all the while convincing you it's for your own good. I hit the jackpot with my physical therapist as he looks like this guy and despite myself I find I kinda look forward to PT. Wouldn't you? It's great to have something nice to look at when you're being twisted, and stretched, and prodded and pushed and you know you're going to hurt like hell when it's over.

You might call all that stuff one flavor of ice cream in this scrumptious little sundae I'm making. The whipped cream?

On Monday, three days after surgery, my co-workers, Peggy & Tom, showed up at my house with a letter. The letter was from my employer of the past two and a half years, and in its entirety read: "Due to seniority, you are laid off effective March 1, 2008." It had postage on it and was ready to mail which is exactly what that cowardly lion was going to do.

The cherry?

I can't seem to make myself unhappy about it. As a matter of fact, my sundae is covered with a mound of cherries on top. I'll tell you more about them in upcoming posts.

Thanks to all of my blogging friends for the great support and encouragement. It is appreciated!

Imbolc

Tomorrow, February 2nd, is the cross-quarter day known in the pagan religions as Imbolc. Imbolc marks the half way point between the Winter Solstice and the Spring Equinox. I have heard that Imbolc derives from words meaning "ewes milk" or "in the belly" and in the pagan religions it refers to Spring being "in the belly" of the Mother - earth. Lactating, gestating, preparing to burst forth with the lengthening hours of sun.

Imbolc is important to me because it was the first holiday I learned about when I began studying pagan religions. Also, for some reason, it has always felt like the beginning of the year to me. It feels like it "in my belly" and I don't care when you call the year over - this is my New Year's Eve.

To celebrate, I'll be visiting the Arctic Mermaid, which is what the cowboy calls the house he's building on a mountanside in Montana. I love going there because I actually rest while I'm there. When I'm home I'm always doing something. Always! Well, unless, of course, I can't walk. But when I visit him I feel free to just lie on the couch and watch movies if I want to. I don't feel compelled to be loading the washing machine or sweeping the floor or feeding the kitties.

I will cook us venison steaks with a salad and sauteed portabello mushrooms. He will keep the fire going in the old woodstove and it will be warm inside while the snow and cold await just on the other side of the wall. We will drink wine and make love and for a few hours, all will be right with the world.

Hey! I'm thinking I'm not depressed anymore! Have a great weekend. Here's an Imbolc blessing for everyone:

Blessed be the earth, and all who dwell upon it.
We give thanks for the season now departing from us,
For the blessings it has bestowed upon us,
And upon those with whom we share this world.

Blessed be the new season.
We pray that it will be a time filled with peace,
With abundance, with prosperity,
With wisdom,
With love.

Blessed be all who share this feast.
Let us now prepare for the time ahead
By opening our hearts, and our minds, and our spirits.

Blessed be.