Tending the Fire

Even though we only had one full month this year that we didn't build a fire, I forgot some things about tending one. The weather is chilly cool and rainy, the tamaracs are a painting on the mountainsides and there's a nice white-tail buck stalking the woods surrounding the house. The black bear seems to have moved on and wood must be fed in a consistent manner to keep the house toasty warm.

A consistent manner - hour by hour, day by day.

No, that's not my fire pit, not my gorgeous cast iron dutch oven, but I'd love to cook that way sometime. I fancy myself green witch drawn to cauldrons full of critical ingredients - onions, garlic, potatoes, venison, parsnip, yam, ginger and peppers. And maybe the occasional eye of newt. I sprinkle some leftover or borrowed hope, a glimmer of faith, a forgotten belief in something. My own cast iron skillet goes in the oven to be retrieved an hour or so later with food medicinal in nature, glorious in taste. I feed the fire.

I know I've been silent here for awhile but it was necessary. The inner fires have been raging and have required their own consistent tending. They have left me wrung out, exhausted and mad. I temporarily lost interest in much of anything except my sobriety and getting through the day. It's entirely discomforting to suddenly turn scarlet with flush, break out into an entire body sweat that feels like it's literally steaming out the top of one's head while trying to speak with a customer or a friend or the cat for gods sake. Mini-kundalini volcanoes. I'm reading Derrick Jensen and the words reach me in a deep place that takes time to assimilate: the truth harsh and cold. I have to take breaks from the book, but I'm compelled to continue reading each time I pause and I steel myself and open the pages - telling myself I can keep it at an emotional distance, I can keep from going into the dark place, telling myself it's necessary, it's part of becoming aware. I read chapters aloud to Brent and he hangs on every word. We feed the fire.

I have continued following the Gulf Coast and there continues to be excellent work done there, although don't for a minute think BP or our government have much of anything to do with that - except getting us there in the first place. National Geographic did a cover story, which mostly bored me to tears and the spill has been in the national news again, but the reports come with no real stories of assistance where it's needed most. They do not engage me the way Drew Wheelan with the American Birding Assocation and the bloggers at the Gulf Restoration Network continue to do. These grassroots activists are my heroes and there are pockets of them all over the globe. A friend in South Africa works to slow the same type of destruction to her Delta knowing that it's late late late in the game. We feed the fire.

We can all see what's happening here, can't we? The story will continue to die down as more and more of these disasters take place. I haven't heard much about the Red Sludge lately. They've built a wall, people are returning to their homes. But there's lead in that stuff and it's radioactive and the ground is a sponge. And it's happening in a thousand different ways in a thousand different places that we never hear about and never will.

We must see that any real answers will not come from the established order. Pluto cojunct Ceres asks us to revolutionize our relationship with the food we eat. To offer it respect and good soil, clear sunshine and pristine water. To thank it for the life it gives, whether animal, vegetable or mineral, and to offer something back. The deer are abundant here and their meat is healthy, lean and good. I will let one choose me and honor our pact from the moment I take the shot to the last savory bite. My willingness to participate so intimately with my food is surprising still to me. It is changing me. It is making me better. I don't like the task especially, don't enjoy killing in any way except that that's the way it feels it should be - if I want the meat (and I do) and I intend to eat it (the only reason to hunt in my opinion), I should at least bless it for myelf and recieve the animal's blessing. I'm almost certain it changes the food, making it a bit more nutritious, a bit more delicious, allowing a healing alchemy to take place in the cells. Our plant and animal siblings help feed the fire.

I'd love to hear how you're feeding the fire.

Powerful New Moon

We are about to experience a powerful new moon (that's when the moon and sun are conjunct in the sky - the sun's light is blocked and the moon becomes "invisible"). What makes it so powerful is that this new moon is also conjunct one mind-blower of a planet party at the same spot in the sky (Aquarius) with Neptune, planet of fantasy, imagination, illusion and denial right there with Chiron, planet of awareness of wounds both personal and societal. In case anyone's been noticing, our society is currently struggling through the death throes brought on by our own fantasy and delusions, fed by the corporate media conglomerate, the military-industrial complex and each and every one of us. It's getting time to wake up from our collective nightmare and start making it look more like a lovely dream.

I'm not an astrologer, nor do I wish to be, but I'm sure I read the most relevant, important astrologer working today. His name is Eric Francis and he's captain of a small team of highly intelligent and creative activists/writers/journalists/artists/astrologers/meaning-makers and I would even venture to say, spiritual pioneers. I always intuited there was something to astrology, but until my own studies coincided with Eric's writing, I couldn't quite make it all fit together in a coherent fashion. Maybe it was all that alcohol?? Go figure.

Eric's website, Planet Waves, operates on subscriptions. You will not be bombarded with any kind of advertising when you visit and the daily blog is always avaiable for free with fascinating stories, chart delineation and sometimes just good entertainment. Eric has been kind enough to extend several subscriptions to me either at a lowered rate or free of charge since I've been having job and home troubles and the only way I have to give back is to direct people to his fabulous work, which I am honored to do. I'm pretty sure someday I'll be able to pay him back, but at this moment, I don't have a clue what that will look like and it doesn't really matter.

Following are some excerpts from this week's subscriber edition which I found to be great examples of the work being done there. If you want to ride the cutting edge of a brand new business model, observe stunning photography, read excellent writing and support a growing venture on the forefront of the changes that need to be made, visit Eric and the gang. And don't forget to let him know I sent you so maybe he won't cut me off!!

Lunar events such as the New Moon tend to precipitate the energy of slower-moving patterns, and once again this lunation qualifies. The Sun and Moon are gathering for a sendoff to the conjunction. And as the Sun and Moon light up the inner sky with their mix of yang and yin energies, what do we see? With any luck, the incredible potential for choice, for movement, and in particular, to direct our awareness anywhere we want.

Yet looking around, it's clear that we're alive in a moment of extreme polarization, and for many, deep and even unspeakable personal fear. Looking at what we're up against at this time in history, I see a world society in crisis and many people struggling to adjust. Though many deny this fact, others are aware that our postindustrial, postmodern, post-rational civilization is approaching a critical turning point. This may be something in the physical environment, and it's clearly something in the psychic/psychological environment: in truth it's about where the two intersect, but we keep missing the point; we keep projecting it outside ourselves.

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Then we're up against ourselves: our own need to grow, seemingly against all these odds, and with not enough time; and our resistance, and our lack of skills to adapt to an environment changing so fast it would make an astronaut nauseous. We've been subjected to numerous shutdown campaigns and often many find themselves in states of anxiety and even panic. After being deskilled, numbed out and trained to say no to sex, work in cubicles and to eat plastic food, we wonder why it's hard to get in a good mood and wage revolution. And time keeps going faster. I propose at least half a day be inserted between Monday and Tuesday to help us stay on top of things.

Finally, we're coping with having limited relationship skills, including leadership skills, in a time when we need them dearly. Some say it's men, some say it's women, bisexuals know it's both. There are a lot of people for whom this whole communication thing, relationship as awareness and growth, focus on the purpose of existence, is as ordinary as a UFO landing in their backyard. The little critter comes out chirping and, well it must be meaningful.

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The fact that you would choose to improve your life, to make a difficult decision or to wake up from a long spell of personal despair can and likely will have significant influence on the human environment that surrounds you. And by the same principle, the environment with which you surround yourself has a significant influence on the ease or difficulty of your improving your own existence.

We are now experiencing the peak energy of Chiron conjunct Neptune. Chiron's primary role is to raise awareness, almost always with the intention of healing oneself. Often it is awareness alone that sets the energy of change and progress in motion. Reminded of this, we have some great motivation to pay attention, and take to heart such ideas as, "When I am healed, I am not healed alone," or, "Become the change you want to see."

As a special treat at this new moon, Jupiter and Venus will be visible in the western sky just after sunset. The diagram above is from the Sky and Telescope website.

I'll be back tomorrow with my new moon intentions for this month. Thanks for visiting. Go see Eric and the gang and happy skywatching.