I'm praying again. Simple prayers requesting assistance with staying sober, prayers for friends and family and the earth and the animals. Prayers that feel like they're going somewhere, being heard, responded to. In my world the only thing worse than being in relapse is praying and feeling like the prayers stay lumped in my chest, held prisoner by my own reluctance to just let go.
Now, I know what to do after prayer: follow it up with action, disconnect from the outcome, and trust.